The cristal jar _ and things

Doing, just doing and doing again

2009-07-18T13:50:00.003+02:00

And it's not me saying, it's The Joss:

I mean, ultimately, you know, the profit that this show [Dr. Horrible's sing along blog] has generated might not excite News Corp. or Time Warner, but it's not terrible. It's fairly impressive. And we all know that the mediums are shifting and that television is struggling to figure out how the rise of the computer is going to affect it. And the Guilds are struggling, and I really feel the best way to deal with that is just to get out there ... and to make stuff.
[...]

I've seen the bigger entities sort of sniffing around it, and in some cases, like The Office and Battlestar, doing great work there. But I'm looking for more people to do it.

(Joss Whedon)

Me too, master. Me too.

The first time I suggested my Masters partners to launch a Web TV comedy, the answer was "I feel more in the mood for shorts". The second answer was "but if you produce for the Internet you can't get the Government Funds, and you cannot attend festivals [which in Spain is outrageously true]".

So here I am, finishing the writings for a feauture short film which will take still a year to be premiered. And waiting _and praying for another believer.

It is so frustrating.

Against hate crimes

2009-01-02T16:02:00.003+01:00

Yes, I do support the global protests against the excessive, criminal repression from a democratic Government, from a Western Nation which has not ratified yet the Geneva Convention and its descendants.

But today _ days ago actually, I chose something else to do.

Along the time, I've happened to meet four jewish bloggers, whether israeli or not [links in spanish]: Mobius, Aharoni (sí, aquel), and Rena from Bookmooch.com. Rena lives in Miami, USA. When she saw my profile picture _with a mauve&green scarf dangling at my back she wrote me to say she also was orthodox jewish and apologised when I explained I am spanish muslimah. I also read Michelle's blog, sefardi in Argentina.

Today I feel like Rena. I have to think of them too. Maybe in the same room we would ended arguing strongly and endlessly about Teology or Geopolitics _as my origins are actually Sefardi jewish. I won't stop protesting against Israeli Government and its Defense illegal politics. And I refuse to its ideological contamination. I won't forget the Sderoti victims of roquets neither people of Israel. They are not the terrorists, their Army is.

So I chose the e-card above to greet them _late Hanukah. May Allah, Exlted Be, be merciful and compassionate with all of us.

So I ask you to greet each other. When you're back from a prostest for the people of Gaza send a warm wish to someone opposing you. If you never thought what happens behind the security checkpoints and the Wall of Shame, send an e-mail to a palestinian blogger.

Those who terrified in 1988 and still feel pain, think about Rena. All the Renas that apologise to a muslim woman for considering her a hassidic jewish. And send a warm wish to them.

We do that anyway at Facebook every day, and very much nonsenseless ;)

The real feminism and the Hood Jihad

2008-10-28T11:33:00.003+01:00

Every day I'm less and less interested in big events with big characters speaking, and more and more in the mood for little acts of living, meeting and _you know, acting.

So, as I'm writing these lines my brothers and Sisters of Junta Islamica make an exhausting effort launching the Third Congress on Islamic Feminism _may Allah reward them for it, despite its boringness and tendence to speak less and less about feminism, even less on Islam. On daily, actual feminism and Islam, I mean.

In the meanwhile, in Cairo, the first mazuna (notary) in several centuries has certified her first Nikah _muslim marriage.

Amal Soliman joins as mazuna to 30 women judges, starting past April in Egyptian Law System. She recovers a tradition very recently vindicated by muslim women, as in many Western Countries, we muslimaati have to struggle to be allowed to just pray in a neighborhood mosque.

_and pity I didn't read about Ms. Soliman at my dear Webislam.com, those past days very busy portrating men conferencing about Islamic Feminism.

Welcome to the Bizarro Ummah, God forgives me.

Sometimes, you just look at their eyes and understand what hope means

2008-09-19T02:44:00.004+02:00

I've just got this e-mail less than a minute ago:

In Response to Center Suit, Feds Put Wolf Back on Endangered Species List, Abandon Plan to Kill Hundreds of Wolves in Montana, Idaho, and Wyoming

Breaking news! The Bush administration today announced it will abandon its defense of an ill-fated decision to remove the gray wolf in the northern Rockies from the endangered species list, which would allow hundreds of wolves to be killed by hunters and state agencies.
To stop the killings, the Center for Biological Diversity and allies sued the administration, winning a temporary ruling stopping the killing in July. But rather than continue to fight us in court, the administration just announced that it will formally revoke its previous decision and return the wolf to the endangered species list as a fully protected species.

We're ecstatic about the victory -- but our hearts go out to the nearly 100 wolves that were gunned down before we were able to secure the initial legal injunction.

Thanks for your support. This victory could not have been achieved without the help of thousands of Center members who donated their time, money, and voices to save the Northern Rockies' wolves. And thanks to our litigation allies at Earthjustice, NRDC, and Defenders of Wildlife.

Kierán Suckling
Executive Director
Center for Biological Diversity

Sometimes things just get straight and good. Even things like this, little great inmense things.

Must confess, I've always been empathetic with wolves. Also in my country they have been mass-killed, prosecuted, tortured and diffamated with fake legends. Thanks to Dr. Félix Rodríguez de la Fuente's work, I discovered them as they are, familiar, coupled, mothers, fathers, a little shy even _they're not so big as american grey wolves. They've been found caring their disabled siblings. Anyway, wolves still are The Big Bad in spanish countryside. Even with our national Protection Act, people calls TV to show the one they captured and let starve till death.

I liked them and loved them because they were loosers. It's funny, I often thought about them when I inmersed myself in Islam 2 years ago. I thought about them the day I embraced Islam as my path. As a believer, their picture always comes to me.

I look into their eyes and I see majesty, innocence _even as hunters they just do what wildlife needs them to. No animal kills as a sport, neither more than they need to fed. I see wisdom. I think I see Allah.

Quickpost this image

Training in Ramadan

2008-09-06T20:35:00.003+02:00

Although I'm quite sure I'm the only muslimah kenshi _at least at old Europe, I'm hoping some sis read this.

Two days ago I had my first training day during Ramadan _technically it's my first Ramadan, as suffering a cronical illness and being under medication, I've been excused for years.

And I have to say, it wasn't as hard as I expected. You only have to ensure hidrating yourself enough the day before and choosing the most proper time to attend trainings. I belong to a morning group at my local dojo, but this special month I asked for a change to a later time.

I kept the form _more or less ;) for 2 hours and a half, even joining gi geiko, and finished just a moment before sunset to break my fasting with dates, almond nuts and orange juice. Needless to say, I jumped onto them ;DDDDD

Moments like that make my kendo practice worthy of the effort. I'm perhaps the worst kenshi all over the world, but, you know, if I can hold the shinai even fasting, then tehre's no limit at all to keep breathing under the men gane.

Kami no Akbar! :D

Posted originally at the Facebook group Kendo Chicks Rock!

A benefit from Ramadan

2008-09-02T15:08:00.003+02:00

The lot of time you save just for thinking.

- although sometimes that couldn't be actually a benefit ;)

Bizarro Sunday: Spain loves Westboro

2008-08-31T21:28:00.003+02:00

Among the hilarious discoveries inside the Spanish Websphere, this one is international _and tragically funny.

Many of you would probably already know the Westboro Baptist Church, leaded by Pastor Phelps... and crowded by his own family and a couple of neighbours.

Yes, these guys are famous for piqueting american soldiers funerals and celebrating everyone else's deaths _as being sinners. That kind of people who see a sinner promoter wherever there's someone who just lives and lets live.

Recently, my country has been celebrated and mentioned by the Phelps. We had been punished by God.

Because my country respects civil rights for homosexual men and women.

Well, why could this be hilarious? Because from every point you look at it, it's ridiculous.

This is not about what I or you or they consider moral on homosexuality. Neither with the difference between morality and Law _ just like me, a gay couple can't just have sex on the street in Spain either. You already know, I have gay friends, and I'm pro _can't help it. At the same time the girl I most respect and love all over the world is not, but she lets people live because she's aware she's NOT God ;)

And anyway, Reverend Phelps...

You really think that Allah the Almighty, the Ruler of the Universe, who actually does have the Power to drop down not a plane but the entire skies, would make such a crap of Divine Justice if He decided to punish us all? [PDF] You can believe or not in God, but sure He is NOT a lame.

Or well, maybe He is just punishing all of us humans with people like you. Which is far worse than losing 150 lives. 'Cause Pastor Phelps looks like... you know, O-L-D. Eternal.

So. I belong to a multi-religious group for mutual understanding of LGTB reality. And I must say, their answer has been this. And I can't say I'm not proud of them.

We live in Bizarro World, never forget.

Wa Allahu Ahlan. And God knows best.

Ramadan counting down 4: Fajr marriage

2008-08-29T09:21:00.003+02:00

The radio alarm hasn't sound yet. It's time to wake up, and drive herberwest work. It's almost sunrising.

- Ah, honey, are you taking a showe... no, you're going to pray
- Hell yes, I'll take advantage we're getting up early!!
- OK, so I will take the shower.

From every issue, maybe we'll find some good

Ramadan counting down 3: da botch

2008-08-28T18:35:00.003+02:00

When Adhan Firefox alert sounds, this, the worst muslimah all over the worl _well, at least the laziest one, just gets up and does what she's able to.

Uki, the pigeon slayer

2008-08-26T12:49:00.004+02:00

Into each generation, a cat is born.
One kitty in all the neighborhood.
She alone will stand,
against the pigeons, the cockroaches and the mosquitoes of darkness.

She is the Slayer.

Hello, you've been elected to be spammed by hi5, ain't it great?

2008-08-18T10:52:00.004+02:00

I happened to join hi5 on a friend's request who was already a member _it's a sort of cheap Facebook social network.

I happened to be invited to join a group by e-mail through a good friend of my spanish blog's, who is also a member _and has nothing to do with the rest of this story.

And hi5 happened to invite ALL my Gmail contacts to join the thing, without my permission and by no warning at all.

So. If this is not irregular personal data dealing at least, I don't know what else it is.

Anyway. My apolgies to everyone who has got an invitation in my name. Of course they're free to contact me at Facebook and via this way whenever you want.

When you get an alert

2008-07-06T19:42:00.002+02:00

As many of you already know, I mostly write this blog to speak about my mental health problems and how I deal with them everyday.

This late night, one of my readers, at the original spanish version, has commented he was taking a lot of pills after one month at his referenced mental hospital.

As I guessed who could it be, I immediately put myself on wheels to contact the community of mental sicks I belong to help the guy in question.

Now, I'm in hiatus _there is almost nothing else to do. I just hope this blog could have been a good alarm to go to rescue.

Kongahiku

2008-06-06T10:48:00.003+02:00

- But hey Blue, you should be writing your friday islamic post, shouldn't you?

- I am.

Kongahiku, the famous Humpback whale with only one fluke, descends into the calm Tongan waters. She visits Tonga each year despite her obvious disability.

Praised be Allah, Lord and Lady and Ruler of the Universes. The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate with all creatures on the Earth.

To sign IFAW's petition to Iceland joining the stop whalehunting from this year, just click.

"That's the way our parents used"

2008-06-05T23:24:00.002+02:00

(in the name of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate)

Here's a link to my last ~~crap~~article at Webislam.com. It's not been translated to English, and it's L-A-T-E, I feel a little sick and I'm affraid my English is not as accurate to define what's spanish muslims controversy about meat considered Halal _"good to eat", "fair", "allowed".

The question is that it doesn't matter if I eat meat or not _the answer used to be "not" until... well, I'm making occasional exceptions, but there's another story to tell about it.

The question is that Halal just can't mean a way of sacrificing cattle. As consumers, muslims, jewish, christians and everyone else should take note on our responsibility to animals. It is in the Torah, and it's commanded in the Noble Quran to us being humble and grateful to every being on the Earth.

How could I consider Halal the meat of a cow starved through thousand kilometres in a truck, without air, without water or food. Raised in a one-metter-cage being feed day and night for sixth months and never seeing sunlight? What would the Prophet (Peace and Blessings upon him) say about it?

So the article focuses at a Halal Live for cattle instead a Halal Death. A conscious consum versus an obsession for rituals and traditions. Traditions which can fall off sense and become empty if we don't reflect on them and look for the Truth behind.

If anyone can read spanish you can read the full article.

And if you want me to translate certain parts, I'll happily do it for you.

Giving birth _one more time

2008-06-03T20:24:00.002+02:00

Once more. Fifth version. The National Registration Office for Authors and Writers is making a profit of me.

And, adding I've not been feeling too much good lately, this one's been nearly to cost me my health. Literally.

And this is only the scenario sketch.
Argh.

editing at 20:00: ... I've just been asked for a 6th one right now.

Farewell, mr. Pollack

2008-05-29T09:54:00.000+02:00

Farewell, mr. Pollack. Wait for us in a paceful mountain in The Garden, playing with a couple of lions, Inshallah.

These are spaniards too

2008-05-05T22:09:00.000+02:00

_and we say no to bullfighting.

2008-04-22T11:51:00.001+02:00

Earth Day Flash Greetings

Obituaries

2008-03-27T11:51:00.003+01:00

Today have passed away two brilliant movies prof. In Spain, Rafael Azcona,THE scriptwriter in the after-war, leading against Fraco's censorship. And Richard Widmark. Sadly, because I admired both of them very much, I couldn't make a proper tribute post, because I attended therapy yesterday and I'm still exhausted.

But, fortunately, with these people making movies, you always can count on their words, their smiles, their stares, their pictures. They are the tribute.

Mr. Azcona (in spanish)
En Escolar:

Mr. Widmark (yes, ma'm):

Save Troy Davis

2008-03-18T11:47:00.005+01:00

Some of you surely will remember my first Youtube video, or know the story from any other media.

I received yesterday the Amnesty International report of Troy's execution arrangement. Amnesty asks for a pledge to the Georgia Board of Pardon and Parole to stop the execution in order to examinate this case.

One of my reasons to vote Zapatero

2008-03-06T18:34:00.002+01:00

As Russia and the USA, we have National Elections now, just next sunday.

Here's one of my reasons to re-elect Presidente Zapatero and the Sociallist Party.

Scientists world wide support a UN moratorium on high seas bottom trawling as a stop gap measure allowing time to do the research needed to ensure sustainable fishing. And thanks in part to thousands of letters from Ocean Defenders, many governments now also support the moratorium. Canada and Spain were among the veteran negationists.

Eventually, Iceland never changed its mind, so the efforts were in vain. Oceans still are getting empty.

So, the work has to go on ;)

Wanted

2008-03-06T13:13:00.002+01:00

Muslimah by ~Kisarune on deviant ART

Please, artist Kisarune from Devianart, can you show up and have a talk? ;)
(I don't like to use images without permission)

On love

2008-02-14T13:01:00.004+01:00

Come!
by Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh, Sufi Master

I have collapsed at the start of your lane - come!
I've lost the valley of 'i and You' - come!

A lifetime I have consigned my head to the sanctum of
Your forecourt. O you the companion of those who are liberated from self, come!

I've let go all I had on the path of Union with You.
O the true existence behind each manifestation, come!

I've thrown existence to the winds in the way of love for You.
Come, devil-may-care lover, so hard to get to know!

I have lost knowledge of self in longing for You.
O cognizant One who has caused so much trouble, come!

I have taken leave of myself in desiring Your face.
The moment has come for You to reveal Your Face; so, come!

Nurbakhsh has become lost, in order to find You.
Enough of infidelity! Come in fidelity!
----

Mi heart bursts red roses:
from Allah they're borned
and will return to Allah
after scenting the hand
of my beloved.

Happy Valentine's ;)

Where I should have been

2008-02-01T11:35:00.000+01:00

This video reports the national boicot to the National Fox Hunting Trophy in Galicia, Northwest Spain. Activists play music and shout to make the animals runaway, and so avoid the hundreds of hunters from all over the country gathered to kill them.

Foxes are not officially protected in my country, nevertheless are one of the most endangered species, and play an important role in nature's balance, avoiding bunnies' illnesses spreading and contaging. But that decreases the number of bunnies to hunt _sick or sane is indifferent, and that's why hunters simply hate them for generations.

I am under a heavy depression, and was no sure of having been here. Now I know I should have.

Enlighten Gaza

2008-01-23T20:43:00.001+01:00

"Ilumina Gaza" (enlighten Gaza) is an iniative from Spanish bloggers to ask to the Government of Israel the inmediate suppression of the energy block on Gaza.

More than a million of palestines lack of essential energy, light, which allows the maintenance of hospitals, schools and survival inside that giantic prison which Gaza has become.

The closing of the last frontier checkpoint has let out Gaza in darkness and cold, handtied hospitals, ambulances detained. There's no doubt that Hamas militants _those called 'terrorists' by Israel Government, are suffering from this. As there's no doubt either that many more civilians are too, suffering. Dying.

If there is anything worse than closing Karen Shalom is the lack of reporters in Gaza to tell the world what is actually happening there.

So, it is our moral duty to protest for the conscious lack of humanity _not even justice, of Israel's Government, allowing this kind of torture to more than a million people. And for this I'm joining Enlighten Gaza, for the blogsphere shows its repulse to this situation.

(Alberto Sotillos)

2008-01-12T19:57:00.000+01:00

In december 20007, around 2000 US muslims were offered to tell their feelings in front of a camera. Some of them were selected to put over images Kareem Salaama's last son. Here it is:

You won't regret the watching.

Suheir Hammad. There is no poetry in this.

2008-01-09T19:06:00.000+01:00

Come from A muslim a day, astonishing fotolog.

It's raining, men ;)

2008-01-02T11:10:00.000+01:00

It R-A-I-N-S here.

And you do know what heavy rains do to wifi connections.

So... keep waiting while I'm updating at my notebook.

Better start

2008-01-01T14:26:00.000+01:00

Best start!!

Uzbekistan abolishes Death Penalty since today January 1st 2007.

Will anybody think about beauty ever instead of destroying?

2007-10-24T21:32:00.000+02:00

_just a suggestion, you know...

Roman

2007-06-27T16:54:00.000+02:00

The only thing I know about him is his name's Román (read it Romaaan in spanish), he lives on the streets and he's out of his mind since a long time ago. Maybe he's been on heroine or still is. He manages to survive, sometimes, playing flute recorder at a corner.

And it happened that a bastard nicknamed Er Jesús had the wisecrack of filming him with his mobile when Román was the most stashed. He played and talked, as he was guessing he was in an interview or something.

Jesús and his pals did it again making another film with a boy suffering a severe mental dissability, who works exploited, cleaning a condominium hall. They succeeded to confuse him so that the guy agreed to thank them for "if we din't pee or poo here, you couldn't work anywhere".

A few days ago I got an e-mail from Chomsky, one of the Guerrilla Youtubers here in Spain, probably the most famous in my country. He warned me about the videos in question, because he felt something had to be done to kick Jesus' ass. Although, of course, we _and many other bloggers felt in the same hesitation.

You have to watch a video at Youtube to flag it as inapropiate. And the more we'd spread the warning, the more people would watch them and the more visits Jesus would get.

So everyone made the best we could. I agreed to watch the videos and flag them, and wrote e-mails to famous spanish bloggers whose sites I visit daily to warn them.

Eventually the videos have been removed. I don't know who made it, but Allah blesses him, her, them. Whoever.

Thank you. In Roman's name, although he'll never know.

And finally, to the five bastards that linked Roman's videos _including some famous spanish sites, I trully hope you'll feel some day the vexation and fun of another Er Jesus.

The happy ending of this story would be what to do to take out all the Romans from the streets. But it's a lot more hard.

Against Censorship

2007-06-23T13:11:00.000+02:00

Against Censorship
Originally uploaded by Lisérgico

I'm in. Sara can't either access to her Flickr Account, as many other people in Germany, South Korea and Holland. So, if she can't, I won't. When my Pro-membership ends in september I'll move on other site.

Unless Flickr changes its policy, of course.

"Beware the hour of the women", said the Prophet (sas)

2007-06-22T15:50:00.000+02:00

In the past few weeks, after Malalai Joya's return from a successful international tour and interview with a local TV station in Kabul, the warlords and criminals in the Afghan Parliament and Senate, tried hard to silence Joya and kick her out of the Parliament.

They have used one of her recent comments during an interview as a justification for their move. In the interview, she expressed that the Afghan Parliament is worse than an animal stable whose many members are the murderers and enemies of Afghan people.

On May 21, 2007, with a gross majority, the Parliament dominated by warlords and drug-lords suspended Joya for three years and ordered the High Court to file a case against her. They also directed the Interior Ministry to restrict her movements. This means she is not allowed to travel outside Afghanistan.

In a press conference in Kabul, Joya announced that it is a political conspiracy against her and she will continue her fight against the warlords and enemies of Afghan people. She is ready to face an independent court and will use the opportunity to expose the enemies of Afghan people through it. Joya added, "but I am very sorry that there is no justice in Afghanistan and the judiciary is also infected with the virus of warlordism and the fundamentalists occupy it."

Some Afghan lawyers that we approached believe that the Parliament's decision is illegal and only a court can decide to oust an elected representative of people from the parliament.

But we are happy that majority of ordinary Afghan people strongly support Joya and she is receiving many phone calls, letters and emails full of sympathies and solidarity following the parliament decision.

Write to Afghan officials and file your protest for expelling and prosecuting Joya, while the terrorists and human rights violators in the parliament were provided immunity before any court for their past crimes last month:

Express your concern for Joya's security during the court sessions as the fundamentalists currently hold key positions in Afghanistan's judiciary.

More at Malalaijoya.com

update: At the BBC daily podcast you can now follow a chronicle on the opium leaders and their pression on afgans, how opium attacks a starving, desperate population, how poor farmers find opium as their last chance of survive in today's Afghanistan. That's what Malalai Joya, Allah blesses her, talks about.

2007-06-03T19:18:00.000+02:00

Hagfish is back!

Welcome to the blogofunk, gal :)

WTF(ire) are all that untranslatable posts...

2007-05-13T21:15:00.000+02:00

... and whathehell is Bluething doing with an evidently drunken man who is not his hubby?

And why his hubby, the drunkie and herself look so happy, for Allah's sake?

Well, last thursday we both three were the fortunate White Nipple Nation members receiving the 20Blogs Award to the Best Humor Blog in the Spanish Blogosphere, according to the 20 Minutos newspaper staff.

We all wish this parody woul never existed. I wrote once about this. Maybe some of you could wonder why a muslim world lover _later become a muslimah never felt tempted to join the conspiracy lobby who claims Madrid's Al Qaeda massacre was something different.

Because muslims are not guilty of what another muslims do. We just have the duty of cleaning Islam's face from their crimes, not ourselves. And the alternative was so terrible, so dirty, was giving such a shame to my own country, my own people even, that I never hesitated that this parody was, and still is, neccessary.

Pity I can't translate this video for you. It says, more or less, what I say in the interview _that you can play chess with Death if you want, but never with deads.

2007-05-06T00:59:00.000+02:00

Care2 Mothers Day E-Cards!

Funny at my expenses

2007-04-23T11:38:00.001+02:00

WARNING: every link in this post leads to spanish pages, hard to translate because of their political base and total-humoristical style. I'll do my best to find equivalences.

Active readers at spanish political blog Escolar have become experts at tagging people and identifying trolls with one-question tests.

Our star test is the Great CEF, spanish acronym for "Do you Condemn Franquism (spanish Fascism)?". If the guy doesn't say simply NO, well, you can find all a gallery of neocon reflections.

After an exhausting argument on line about (guess what) Islam and terrorism, I decided to test myself.

- Small Blue Thing, Do you Condemn Islamic Terrorism?

- YES, ok? No buts, no althoughs, no shades and with islamic motivation, by the way _As Allah doesn't love attackers (from the Noble Quran).

Is that enough?

For my spanish e-pals, new muslims tend to be soft regarding terrorism. We have to do more than condemn, they told me.

The funny thing is that, in the morning I translated my sunday original spanish post, I had an argument on my decission of not wearing hijab on certain occasions, because I am soft to some of my arab sisters eyes.

Geez, this just sucks.

I-T H-U-R-T-S

2007-04-22T11:06:00.000+02:00

My combo sprain+tendonitis in my left knee is getting well. It is getting well _I'm feeling worse nowdays ;)

Past thursday I got my first sesion with the phisiotherapist. Rehab is great _as your whole bones scream in pain, your previous knee's hurt becomes just relative.

Since yesterday, I feel pain all around my body.

So, spanish Bizarro Sunday is becoming Bizarro Sunday in my original blog. I will update today some impressions as the pain decreases.

Oh, and by the way: OUCH.

Posting as I go along

2007-04-17T17:57:00.000+02:00

I had in mind to post a message asking for help. Something like this:

I interrupted my Phd after passing the first period as I didn't got any grant _ and I really had a little pressure around me to get a real life and a real job. I had almost forgotten all about, until I applied to a Fellowship in Manchester University. Eventually they didn't hired me because of my lacking of English knowledge _and specially English diplomas, although they did appreciated my project and opened my mind to keep trying.

Since then _and as working panorama in Spain just stinks, I started to think seriously about retaking my PhD. I made some calls and posted e-mails to Spanish Colleges, and nobody answered. Until last week.

So tomorrow I'll spend my morning in my first meeting with my new Advisor in the Universidad Autónoma de Madrid (UAM).

Wish me luck.

editing: My prayers and condolences for all the victims of the lone gunman in Virginia.

Wish you were here

2007-04-15T01:59:00.000+02:00

I can't stop thinking about Augen's eyes, so blue, so deep. About his frightening lonelyness. He is sick. I don't even know if it's serious.

My friend is far, far away and he needs me. And I am standing here with a hurted knee and an empty wallet. Feels so bad.

Monthly check picture

2007-04-13T02:03:00.000+02:00

(My leg hurts and I'm prescribed to rest. AND i AM BORING)

So, this is my one kilo less picture of this month.

The sign of victory is not for the lost weight _but for having crossed on my own the London Millenium Bridge over the Thamesis, last week at London. I also suffer vertigo.

Going to church

2007-04-07T22:05:00.000+02:00

قَالَ عِيسَى ابْنُ مَرْيَمَ اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّنَا أَنزِلْ عَلَيْنَا مَآئِدَةً مِّنَ السَّمَاء تَكُونُ لَنَا عِيداً لِّأَوَّلِنَا وَآخِرِنَا وَآيَةً مِّنكَ وَارْزُقْنَا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ الرَّازِقِينَ (5:114
---
Said Jesus, the son of Mary: "O God, our Sustainer! Send down upon us a repast from heaven: it shall be an ever-recurring feast for us - for the first and the last of us -and a sign from Thee. And provide us our sustenance, for Thou art the best of providers!
(Quran, Surat 5, ayat 114)

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, the Passover Holly Day for christians. I'm going to church tomorrow. I'm attending a mass for the very first time in more than a decade.

It's not that I have any fammily affair with mass-service-included _I'll be there as a muslimah, with my hijab and a long skirt. And limping, as my knee still hurts as hell.

The Archbishop Catholic Diocese of Madrid decided a couple of days ago that the church of Saint Carlos Borromeo, in Entrevias _one of the poorest areas in my neighbourhood, doesn't acqurate to Catholic Canon and standards. The Archbishop _still a really influential figure in my country, even in a non-confessional Estate, has mercily considered that this humble brick church is unappropriate.

The place is filling with poors and lacking of doctrine and rituals. The parishes are rebel priests who don't fancy up to celebrate Jesus' name _Peace and blessing upon him. So some authorities have decided that a church open to junkies, gipsies, inmigrants, homeless and communists is not a proper church. The priests have been fired after 40 years of service to the poorest people in Madrid.

Well. Tomorrow, the priests and christian community of San Carlos church are going to celebrate a mass. An illegal mass, according to the Pope's standards. But they will be celebrating Jesus' name and Jesus' life. Tomorrow. The Passover Sunday. The most important day in a christian's life. And San Carlos will be full of people from the hood _ junkies, gipsies, homeless, communists, poors and, as least, one visible mora.

This is the church's website which you can translate, as there's no information in English yet.

For all the christians visiting this blog, have a blessed Easter time.

I'm going, I'm going!!!!

2007-04-05T09:47:00.000+02:00

I'm at London now _a little getaway to visit some friends. Plz, some of my spanish friends visiting my English blog, could anyone translate my last Friday post on my life as a muslimah and put it here in the Comments?

Thank you!

_ more coming, promised.

And THESE are my defenders

2007-03-26T13:13:00.000+02:00

What you're to watch is a mobile phone-recorded video made in a division of the Spanish Legion _the Elite corp of Spanish Army, with some forces at Kosovo and Afghanistand under UN flag in humanitarian mission.

The soldier is originary ecuatorian and asked from the camera pal, is saying how good he feels at service and how nice are his spanish partners to him...

These two psycho weirdos are supposed to be my Elite defenders, are paid with MY taxes and sent to HUMANITARIAN missions abroad. And have the right to be named spanish citizens. They even publish his deed at YouTube.

To be posted

2007-03-07T09:27:00.000+01:00

I have got a new job _it's actually a clon job, in the same kind of supporting school, same contract, same timetable, same pupils' profile... same ending? :(

So please have a little patience more for the new posts coming _and their translations here.

I have to retake the workers' routine!

Bizarro poll

2007-02-08T16:59:00.000+01:00

I have been receiving some bizarro comments lately. It's normal, when, you know, one dedicates every sunday to make some laughs on the Greatest Hits of spanish neocons, fascist and similar species.

But... I couldn't help myself. Here's the translation of This Week Bizarro Poll. What do you think it's the most funny adjective that my spanish fans have dedicated to my blog?

Still here en español

2007-02-06T20:56:00.000+01:00

Please forgive me if I don't update my english posts nowadays. Lots of work _seeking work, actually and lack of energies!

Sara dearest, wish I will give back your kindness learning a little arabic! ;)

An eye for an eye 'til the whole world gets blind

2007-01-29T21:00:00.000+01:00

Uruguyan poet Mario Benedetti wrote once "Blood only brings back blood". That's the meaning of the spanish title of this post.

My prayers for all the victims of Palestinian conflict, and my sorrow for their killers _and for all that made them do like that, whatever their reasons.

And my fan club just keeps growing

2007-01-04T10:59:00.000+01:00

Here's my english version of my yesterday's post. It's quite odd, as I have seen an odd definition of myself at a blog I never heard about _ Bichos, bichitos, bichejos (like Bugs, buggies and tiny buggies).

Here's my translation of the post quoting mine I found via my statscounter:

by Oldwitch

Subject: Elías
Time: 03:55 pm
That's not mine but Elías' from Lalengua.info, I give it an A.

<<...the problem with leftichists (not leftists, what it's quite different) is that they mess up logics, intelligence and all that stuff. If they were true leftists _I used to be in my time, and maybe I still am, they would be against all kind of religion as it's "people's opium" and an instrument of humankind's opression. Taht's the way leftists think. But these leftichists poo in Christianism and the Jews, tough embrace Islam. As that's a contradiction, that's why they always have their appareance of mentally retarded, and they can't stand a couple of minutes' argument with one.

I'll present you a blog you will just L-O-V-E. It's part of the spanish Net of Progressive Blogs. Its authour is a spanish (i think so) woman converted to islam. And it illustrates perfectly the contradiction of leftichists I'm talking about.

She describes herself as a leftists and she's islamic [yes, it says "islamic", not "muslimah"] She names herself a vegetarian, and she supports at her blog a banner against bullfightings and however she wishes all her muslims brothers a happy killing of a lamb. It's neat that, for her, killing a bull for tradition is an atrocity, but killing a lamb for another tradition worth respect and she even congratulates those who commit it. I'll repeat: she is vegetarian. Yes, I do know what's the difference: in the first case the tradition is spanish and in the other one it's not. In the first case the tradition is lay and festive, and in the other one it's an islamic tradition. And all these leftichists call themselves lay people.

Pure contradiction.

In the first years of spanish democracy after Fasctist Franco's death, most conservative people were afraid of telling in public they were rightisht. Now, most liberals are afraid of saying they are, and I suppose it's normal if you see these bloggers.>>

This is the blog http://cristaljar.blogspot.com/

I haven't found that Elías from lalengua.info's post about me, so I'm just quoting this, the quote's quote. It's curious that that primal fan says he's from Ceuta: maybe muslims in North of Africa, arabs and semites eat _and they DO it a lot, and a lot of lamb meat, at Eid Ul Adha. And so, this guy didn't ever think that vegetarian muslims can exist, not only we reverted but in Asia, China, Indonesia... around 1.000 million almost-vegetarian muslims.

I could have commented at that post this, and even more if I had commented the ortography and spelling _in the original version. Although it could be a little bit childish. Maybe I could have adopted the "Spanish forum poster way" and say "you're a moron, guy", but it would have been quite unpolite.

This is me:
(pradoxically, I wasn't muslimah the day I took this picture)

And this, too:

Hey, and this one:

And one more, reverted muslimah, teaching how to make Zen meditation to my Kendo pals at the gymnasium _that's how we train usually, like white-fitted judokas,

And this last one is me, too, last summer,

Unlike many can still think, there we are _people who don't, who can't fit with a single definition, with an only icon, a cliché, who don't have a chapter in a manual. There we are, people who feel, like my countryman Ibn Arabi (a EUROPEAN man, guys), that our heart is expading in love, that say with the sufi master

O marvel! a garden among the flames... My heart has become capable of all forms. It is a meadow for gazelles and a monastery for Christian monks, A temple for idols and the pilgrim's Ka'aba, The Tables of the Law and the book of the Koran. I profess the religion of Love, and whatever direction Its steed may take, Love is my religion and my faith.
"Diwan"

Yes, I am leftist. I am a woman. Muslimah. Zen meditator. Kendo student. Blogger. Bookcrosser. Reader. Writer. Teacher. Friend. Wife. Vegetarian. Anti-bullfighting. Fat. Adversary (not enemy, I hope). Bipolar. Mountain trekker. Miope. Only child. Absent-minded. Troll (just a little). Pacifist. Funny. Volunteer. Resentful. Traveller. Geek. Bossy. Gossipy. Animal Lover. Photographer (amateur). Contradictory. Magufa.

Diverse. Over all tags.

Sorry, sweeties, I don't fit in any of your catalogues.

When bizarro goes tragical

2007-01-02T14:57:00.000+01:00

The last few days I've been writing a lot about last ETA bombings at my city, Madrid.

Despite what I told Sara, two motal victims are believed _two ecuatorean youngmen who were taking a nap before catching their relatives who were landing in the airport, inside their park cars, who weren't noticed to evacuate. Nobody has reached the ground were their cars should be.

When all democrats should be togheter against violence, some of the most radical conservatives are blaming the Government _as they were starting a negotiation with the official ETA in truce, which is stopped, although not completely off. Besides, most of these people belong to the not-bizarro-now Black Pawns Movement, so most of the pictures I've posted about all this matter is people asking for responsibilities about... the 11M tragedy commited by Al Qaeda. Any excuse is good to take advantage, I guess.

To make you a little more understandable all this, here's a link to BBC's dossier about ETA's last nine months of truce.

This cartoon from spanish genius Forges at El País newspaper is quite neat, too.

They won't be the last ones, Inshallah. Let's pray for it.

Killing is killing

2006-12-30T09:56:00.000+01:00

Death Penalty no.

For anyone.

Alhamdulillah!

2006-12-29T09:58:00.000+01:00

I can't believe how lucky I am.

It's not that I always have been, related to the people I love. Allah _and those of you who read spanish, knows that I have been in pain. When I fell down sick last time, my friends from years just let me because of, they said, "they had the right to choose their relations".

Nevertheless, my condition of new muslimah seems not to be important to my soulmate neither those friends I still have. Much on the contrary, indeed. And Islam has put me closer to Sara.

So, when I read what Leeane's friends are doing to her just because she's a muslimah... I can see how fortunate I am to have them. Hope the best for her too.

Where's emaniy?

2006-12-28T19:32:00.000+01:00

When I clicked on Militant Muslimah's blog, I found out it's been hacked by a japanese weirdo.

I have been googling her without not much luck.

Please, if you catch her around your blogs or some forum, I'd like to keep in touch. Her viewings and reflections are very useful and constructive.

Christmas at the countryside

2006-12-28T19:15:00.000+01:00

Well... it's absolutely nice being here, except for my experiments trying not to offend my parents, as the typical Season's meal at La Mancha is... pork.

But it could be worse... :(

Merry Christmas _never too late.

Barely changed

2006-12-15T20:52:00.000+01:00

Yesterday night we celebrated Christsmas with my Kendo Dojo partners. It was really funny _and cheaper than last year, as we have got our own place now. I listened again the comment on how barely I have changed. It's not noticeable, you know, Blue-chan, the muslimah thing... You are not different now...

PArtially it's good to listen that. On one side, it means that my life was close to present moment before recognising myself as a muslimah. On the other one, it also means that the people I'm meeting is interested on deeper things more than the external aspects.

I have learnt that Islam has little to do with expternal appearance. Accepting life as it is without thinking of God as a sort of Santa throwing candies to the world makes me feel part of this no-candy world, and, at the same time, keeps me a little bit out of this world. When I was being raised as a Catholic Is was unable to imagine that Pop view of God. Without Zen Buddhism I hadn't been able to reject the dual philosophy of God=Only Candy. Now I can see Allah every momment. I see Allah in everything, in the best and the worst moments of my own life. When these ones come in, I don't feel them as a punishment. Being sick, being in pain, is part of life as being happy is. And life is part of God.

I didn't posted this video at the spanish blog as it's in English. It's a Sara's discovery, this brother Ali. And though I don't always agree with his speeches _I wrote him a comment suggesting him to wear long shirts and a hat in order to think seriously about my hijab , I have to say this one is cool... and true. So enjoy, even if you're not muslims: you can learn a couple of things about Christsmas Supermeals.

Darfur

2006-12-10T14:05:00.001+01:00

Click Here to sign the Darfur Petition!

Rosa's balcony

2006-12-06T22:23:00.000+01:00

Just a week ago Spanish Congress launched a new Law focused on disabled people, Alzheimer disease, and every kind of dependant person all togheter.

It is not a bad law, you mean. It disposes some securities to disabled people that never existed before. The problem with the Law is that the Alzheimer patients have become a sort of paradigma. And people in wheelchair have nothing to do with these seniors. By the way, mental sick people have not been ever noticed as "potential dependants".

Another negative aspect of this Law is that it only disposes a personal asistant to the patient to go work or go to school/college. Well, what if a paraplegic girl wants to go to the movies? Should the Estate leave her to her friends' mercy?

The day in which the Dependency Law was aproved, I posted a clipping [in spanish] in a local newspaper. Javier, one of the veterans of Disabled Spanish People fighting for a trully Independent Living, condemsed the sadness _ even anger among our 500 members. It's paternalist, asistentialist and doesn't ever consider personal needs. Resuming, "a personal treason and a ideological World-Class crap", in words of my partner María Ángeles.

She says "personal treason" because last September _while I was in Ireland, a commitee of Spanish Independent Life Movement members squattered the National Institute for Disabled asking for a meeting with our Social Affairs Minister. After one whole day and a half, this commando on wheelchairs and breathers reached their goal, and Minister Caldera commited himself to recognise our right to a personal assistant as a Civil Right, nor dependant on the economical situation or the kind of disease you have, and full-time, not only to be "productive".

The concept of "ideological crap" comes from the fact of María Angeles is sociallist _she's even member of the party, as I am of the communist sindicate, and both of us consider Estate sinonym of "community". So we struggle for a country where she with her wheelchair and I with my cracked mind will be equals to the rest. But this [Socillist] Government has proposed to the Congress a Law which consider our needs to come out only to work. Concerning our daily living, the only chance is get cared by your family or loosing your home to pay for a room in a residence. And that's for her. We mental sick people aren't ever named.

We, people with disabilities, physical or mental, are conscious of we are cracked, but that doesn't make us just objects. We are different people, with different needs, but people. And these needs go farer from get a job. We want to go on holidays, to take a coffee, to go to a party, to get an appartment, to flirt (sure! _well, not me. I'm taken), to go do Kendo even when our minds are too tired to even want to live... There's always famous disabled people who desperately want to die, but most of us don't. We want, desperately want, to live. But we can't do it if an assitance that, according to this Law, is not prepared for superficial desires.

Rosa, from Valencia, keeps since last september one of our logos in her balcony. She was one of the braves who attacked the IMSERSO Institute to meet the Minister.

The clip says I = DAD, anagram of I-GUAL-DAD. In English, we could translate it like = ity. "EQUAL ity".

She is still waiting for equality, as she's on wheelchair and her arms have distrofy. She barely can move out. But she is not even tired.

To Anna

2006-12-02T21:35:00.000+01:00

As I go on with some stories regarding to my country, here's a little bit of crying for Justice.

Here, you can send condolences to the relatives of Anna Politovskaya, Human Rights fighter killed by Russian Government two months ago.

More about Anna, at the BBC.

One single good reason to give your e-mail to your pupils

2006-11-26T16:50:00.000+01:00

This is not a proper transliteration from my personal blog. It's been kinda weird, writing one of the last scenes lived in my life, a few days ago. And I don't think it's time to live it again now.

Last friday the 17th I sold my first long-play movie filmscript _which makes me a "professional writer" officially.

Last monday, three days later, I was fired from my work. I am not a supporting teacher anymore.

My actual ex-managers told me that all my kids and their families had complained about me and they couldn't afford to support a teacher under suspicion, so... I had no choice to say anything, just to take a bunch of money and sign a letter saying I had not passed my trial period _after two contracts and six months and being not able to say goodbye to the kids. I was just able to say a farewell to S., one of the eldest girls.

A few days later, I was receiving more than a dozen of supporting messages from the kids. They are just missing me. They want to know if I am OK, and they had complained on being implied in a stuff they don't understand and that has nothing to do with their opinions.

I'm afraid this thing has had a little bit to do with my condition of recent-reverted muslimah. Maybe it's not the islamic thing at all but the standing out condition of a simple employée, you know? Being different, calling the attention upon you more than upon someone else who thinks deserving it better. Maybe. I don't know.

The saddest thing is that I have to seek for a new job and all this matter will payback my script. But knowing how mature and supportin my kids could be has been a blessing from God, and for that I am grateful. Ha min.

And done!

2006-11-16T12:30:00.000+01:00

I have finished my first long scriptply.

I'll present it tomorrow at the Department of Culture, and expect to be paid before 2007.

I should restart in one, two months as maximun, in order to prepare it to become a movie some day.

But not now. I'm feeling a kind of post-childbirth. Ouffff!

Rewired!

2006-11-13T12:45:00.000+01:00

A few minutes ago, my DSL started to work again... ("started working" or "started to work"?)

Next friday is my letal DEADLINE to present my first long movie scriptplay to be produced, so I'll still be a little off for a bunch of days more... But at least I am connected to the world again :)

Alhamudlillah!

Bizarro Sunday, english version now

2006-10-22T00:15:00.000+02:00

King of Spain denies shooting drunk bear

The king says it didn't happen. And the bear isn't around to talk about it anymore.

Nicer, the Don Justo's cathedral is close to become legal, nevertheless the Catholic Assembly never paid any attention to him until the Aquarius advertisement.

Don Justo became famous internationally because of his talented DIY work, knowing nothing on architecture himself. He's been dedicated exhibitions even at NY MOMA... and spaniards came to know about him because of this Coca-Cola Advertisement.

Next week, more bizarro country news granted.

Haram Warning!

2006-10-21T11:22:00.000+02:00

Once again I have to warn my foreign friends on some new stuff in my original blog. Once again, related to my White Nipples co-writers. Remember I've been talking about the last few days?

So, when you click in the Comments at the spanish blog, and sometimes this one, you'll see... nipples, breasts, or something weirder in the avatars.

Don't blame on them, please. Some of these guys only blog because of the white-nipple thing and they're following the word joke _whose sense, both in lingüistic and political dimension, are, I'm afraid, impossible to be understood by you folks.

So take a deep breath, relax, and pay attention to my co-bloggers...

2006-10-20T20:11:00.000+02:00

The prestigious philosopher Gustavo Bueno has just called me moron at a Telecinco's interview.

Well, not only me, but a good bunch of people, starting by my President.

Maybe my President is not good for some people. He is a pacifist, pro-freedom of expression and minorities-friendly, but he is, well, a sociallist. And he does like gays (hihiihihihihi). But Mr. Bueno has just released a book in which he says:

mostly of Sociallist Party members have a childish idea of this world. They are like Alice in the Mirror. They have not at all critical thoughts, but their ideas of world peace and Civilizations Alliance go too far from the Utopia to be just slogans. ...

So... Pacifism is a slogan?

Anyway. I'm starting to be tired of defending a President who I even didn't vote for.

Yes, I changed my avatar

2006-10-19T19:45:00.000+02:00

I do know that The Smuferette is not so beautiful at all as Klimt's Poetry, but my White Nipples mates started to make jokes yesterday about my Small-Blue-Thing-naming. For an untranslatable situation which led into this picture at the White Nipples blog,

I became re-baptized, so I'm going on with the funny to their honor :)

Disambiguation warning: not culture crossing possible here ;)

2006-10-15T10:50:00.000+02:00

Hey folks, the last three posts in my blog are absolutely impossible to translate, as they are related to Spanish politics and the... you know, Marx Brothers emulators who some conservative politicians here and their fans.

The last post specifically comes from my decission of dedicating a dominical post to all the bizarro blogs in Spain related with Neocons. The first one _also spanish-language based, says to be dedicated "To protect Spain and the Western World from the islamic menace". And if it's not bizarro enough, the blog in question lies about Webislam.com, the most important web about Islam in Spain, mostly controversial in its thesis among western muslims, but always opened to everyone and declared supporters of Peace and Human Rights whoever claims for them.

One of the links can be misunderstood by you: it's the grey banner, Pezones Blancos. The word pezón in spanish means "nipple", and sounds close to peón, the word for "pawn". The Black Pawns is a Net based radical, ultranationalist, ultracatholic and fascist group who claim that the March Eleven Tragedy was really an evil social-islamic-mason-green-feminist-abortionist-vegetarian-atheist-basque-catalonian-irish complot to take the power in my country, defeating the Conservative Popular Party after the national elections. They are not political influent, although really offensive in their attacks on every blog and web that doesn't share the conspiranoia.

So, The White Nipples Sect ("pezones blancos" versus "peones negros") is a JOKE about the black pawns dellusions, so don't be afraid if you click in the banner and find a comuniblog full of... nipples :)

Some times, the only way to cry of anger is just laughing.

The Book of Kells

2006-09-03T22:27:00.000+02:00

And Say: "I believe in all that God has sent down from Scripture, and I was commanded to be with justice between you. God is our Lord and your Lord. We have our deeds and you have your deeds. There is no argument between us and you. God will gather us all together, and to Him is the ultimate destiny."(Quran 42: 15)

My hand is weary with writing,
My sharp quill is not steady,
My slender-beakes pen just forth
A black draught of shining dark-blue ink.
A stream of the wisdom of blessed God
Springs from my fair-brown shapely hand:
On the page it squirts its draught
Of ink of the green-skinned holly.

My little dripping pen travels
Across the plain of shining books
Without ceasing for the wealth of the great
_Whence my hand is weary from writing.

(XIth Poem in honour of Saint Collum Cille the Scribe (591-597). The Book of Kells and The Book of Durrow were written and illuminated by his followers).

Lookie, lookie my first troll!

2006-08-29T19:15:00.002+02:00

A bunch of months ago I wrote this post.

And, today, 9 months later, I've been answered by, hey! my first troll [Spanish slang. Almost impossible to translate literally. I'll do my best]:

At 2:55 AM, Anonymous said...

ey what time you live in man, surely not in 21 century man? what'sup to you, you still kill nuns an' priest man, you still burn churches ah? you sure kill people because they're wealhty and smarter than you man? you hate spanish people, right? what's up in the war only franco's guys killed, right? [this war] go yourself to paracuellos and you see what this santiago carrillo and tell me later, and also some book on history of this marvellous country that in case you don't know is called spain. a hug for you all!!! and remember that you will be spanish forever and if you don't want to it's easy just go to cuba, china, corea, bolivia!!! you won't tell me in you answer that those on the ETA are the good guys and the government the bad ones, right?

The Wiki links are mine.

Nevertheless that post of mine had nothing to do with this... speech, well, I' ve got a troll for my self. Now, guys, I do am an important blogger :)

Untranslatable posts

2006-08-29T12:41:00.000+02:00

Yesterday post at my spanish blog (that one with the video) is, I guess, untranslatable _maybe not because of the language, neither the political issues inside. It's that they are plenty of underline jokes on our last modern History (Franco's dictatorship, ex-President Aznar redefining "Peace" with his ugly english at BBC...).

Here you have some links explaining current situation here,

Aznar's charm commented at Eurotrib
Popular Party rejects defining Franco as a dictator

... and how some weird people abroad calls our President Zapatero friend of Al Qaeda:

"Ohmygosh, they do love Hammas!!"

"Ohmyghosh, Zapatero is a poofster!!"

"Ohmygosh, Basque terrorists are muslims and palestinian, and probably communists, and surely poofters!!"

"Ohmygosh, Zapatero plays golf with Bin Laden!!"

and the winner is...
"Ohmygosh, Zapatero is a Sociallist!!"

Boing.... boing... Prrrriiiiiiii pch pch pch pch poing, poing!!

2006-08-27T13:53:00.000+02:00

(yes, it is a modem. Remember how it sounded?)

I've been a couple of weeks without my DSL connection for several reasons: first, I'm migrating to 20MB highspeed _now that Herberwest, his kitty and two computers are joining the family, besides my padawan in the down floor flat, who borrows my connection, just 2MB were starting to get too little.

Second, now none of three us can connect neither can borrow my beside neighbour'S Wireless, because National TeleCom has blew completely off _and he is customer. The third one is that, for the same reason, I haven't been able to ping after the 20MB migration was done, because National TeleCom has got the control of the nodos... and they were all blew down in most of Madrid areas.

And the fourth one is that some goblin is really angry with me, as I have no DLS at all, my mobile phone has went off and my digital camera is being repared and perhaps will still be until _september!

So, once a day or two, I dial my modem and take a look to my e-mail. Toooooo slow for more.

* In the right moment that I'm writing the english version of this post, I am two-day DSL re-connected and running. My blow-down nodos will be refunded on my next month fare, and for some reason which we're unaware, Herberwest has got two new last-generation mobile phones instead the one he was expecting from his company, so I'm wired and cool now.

My mental drought is still on the go. Going down slowly, although still here inside, the same as depressions. I am even barely able to manage my next travel to Ireland _where I will be volunteering this year. And sometimes would like to bury myself at warmy cozy home, without need to go out to the world, just connected to it through the Net, where the real life's teeth are occassional.

But I'm still here, at least. And, as the world is going by, my troubles are a minor damage.

Oh, by the way _I finished my reading of Mount Misery. It's oddly powerful. Moving. Painful. Excellent bood. If anyone would like to learn about mental illnesses, this is definitively a must read.

Warning: pictures can be offensive

2006-08-08T15:22:00.000+02:00

OK folks, let's start the weekend with a little funny :)

The thing is last great idea of one of my top ten silly web pages in Spanish, HazteoirDOTorg ("Make your voice be heard"). HO is an ultra-catholic, extreme liberal forum focused on Spanish Youngsters. Briefly, everything which doesn't fit in their universe is evil, offensive and agressive. Last offence they have suffered from the rest of the world was the Madrid Gay Pride Parade, last june.

I do know most of you people are not quite gay-friendly. You know I am. But I am quite sure we all share a feeling of living and letting live. Here in Spain, gay movement have become lately a symbol of those minorities whom our President and Sociallist Government are getting out from discrimination to be citizens as the rest of us. And these people are not ready to understand that their beloved España is not catholic, not rightish, not... uniformed anymore. And that's what pisses me off: The Liberal Movement can post the website NoesigualDOTorg to invite homosexuals to " be cured", they can demonstrate against gay rights at the streets, even send a psychiatrist to speak in MY Parliament to declare that homosexuals are mentally retarded or maybe addicted to alcohol and drugs... but homosexuals cannot just simply laugh at it? Hey, it's Democracy here! Freedom to speech and everything!

So, as they have felt attacked by people like this Flickr collection they have collected, they are inviting everyone to report the attacks in question to the police. A printed form is available in HO even. WARNING: jokes apart, some of these pictures have nudity and maybe can be offensive, or at least shocking, for some of you. Unless you live in Rio de Janeiro or San Francisco...

Anyway, a couple of days ago I was shaming on my artistic drought, surfing the Web with my afternoon cofee... And I just saw the report. And the pictures. Oh, what an offence.

I should blame to the caffeine for what I did next: as Flickr user, I sent an e-mail to the guy who made the offensive pictures:

From: Small Blue Thing
To: the liberal guy in question
Subject: Congratulations! :)
Text:
I just love your nice pictures on Gay Parade. It's quite a celebration of freedom and joy, and dignity for all people nevertheless their religions or beliefs. Keep it up!

Maybe some of you could be offended by this post or those pictures, in whose case here are my apologies. Maybe you could be shocked, even offended, but you could tolerate them as there wasn't intention of harm. Or maybe you could go to the website and download the police report yourselves. But you know what? I think there are more important causes to fight for out there...

A little effort more...

2006-07-31T17:51:00.000+02:00

As I'm going on dealing, on one hand with my creative drought and, on the other, my increasing horror _as yours, for Lebanon and Palestinian people, I wish to share this last effort. It's not mine, but it's my effort to contribute to all you will know about:

Yvonne Deutsch is israeli, ashkenazi jewish. Maybe, as her Familiy Name suggests, her ancestors were eliminated by Nazis before the survival family could reach Israel. So she is one of those thousands of israeli citizens with the right to live in peace in her country. And, as all of them, she's another victim. She is, as she is in pain because of her Government, because It silences her voice and her anger.

I want to share with you all this letter written by Yvonne to all her partners in the International Pacifist Movement Women in Black, which I have read at PAZ AHORA website:

Dear Women in Black,

Thank you for all the support and the solidarity actions. Today more than 50 civilians, refugees of the war in Lebanon, mainly women and children, were killed by the Israeli army.

I cannot describe you the horrible feeling that the horrors of this war and the ongoing occupation are done in our names. We are in the streets everyday. Our voices in the media are hardly heard. This weekend an indepth inteview was conducted with the founders of "Four Mothers" who struggled in the 1990's to bring back the soldiers from Lebanon.

Today they support the war. Our voices are marginalized though here and there we appear in the paper or television. But very little. Of course, the discourse is militarized . Pictures from Lebanon are not showed in the way they are showed abroad.

So, with all the pain, the helplesness in effecting our perspecitves on reality, the anger and sorrow and the fact that we are few and regarded as traitors - we have to continue. The pressure for national solidarity dismisses not only the cruelty of this war in Lebanon but also the effect of the war on poor people in Israel, the fact that many don't have an income and the rise of violence against women in the north, in the areas that are suffering from the war.

Thank you for your solidarity
love, justice and peace and a very BIG HUG
Yvonne Deutsch

July/30/2006

As I have also read at Paz Ahora webiste, yvonne has been included in some bloody shit tittled SHIT LIST, or "list of traitors to Israel". This... thing threatens every jewish or israeli citizen who dares to suffer and cry for Israel crimes.

My prayers, my admiration, are today for all of these "traitors". I think that, in some ways, they are more victims even than Palestinians. At least, Palestinians do know their enemy is outside.

2006-07-26T18:52:00.000+02:00

The saying that blind faith can move mountains unfortunately omits the fact that, being blind, faith doesn't know which mountain needs moving. That's where wisdom is essential, which means that a thorough understanding of the teaching is crucial.

-- Ayya Khema, When the Iron Eagle Flies
from Everyday Mind.

Just to let you know that I am still here, sweating under the hottest summer in Eras :)

2006-07-20T16:40:00.000+02:00

In Madrid, this afternoon, for all of them:

And for those who won't be able to be here with me, just CLICK

The Prison Choir

2006-07-12T22:42:00.000+02:00

While I'm trying to survive the extreme heat wave that is devastating all my countryside, I refresh my mind watching a weekly show on National TV called The Prison choir.

It's a spanish invention and it's getting even international reviews, besides having been sold already to several countries to make their own local versions. In fact, there are more fans of this reality show abroad than in Spain yet.

A choir made up of prison inmates. The Prison Choir sees a music teacher and a psychologist spending two months with 14 inmates, training their voices and using singing as an unusual therapy. The format is soon to air in Spain on TVE and was created by 3 Koma in Spain. (Buzz News)

I do know for sure that Prisons' reality is more than a reality show. Here in Spain, in North America and other countries _with all the tortures, illnesses and the lack of hope for those who go out to the real world after years of prison. At least, I'm so proud that my country had abolished Deaht Penalty.

But this Prison Choir _taken out from the daily Prison Music therapy class at the Dueso Prison, is real too. And it's a nice reality. Nice for me, and for all these 12 men in their daily lives. Everybody has the right to consider about what he or she has done once, and the right to straight his or her life.

And guys, they are GOOD singers.

Guilty of mental illness: mental disabled people and US Prisons

Mental Health in prisons all over the world

Alive and kicking

2006-07-03T21:01:00.000+02:00

And, against any prediction, still writing.

Some nerve required to do this, right?

2006-06-15T12:35:00.000+02:00

YouTube takes over videos hosted on their webse

When you upload a video at YouTube.com, the site owners reserve the right to make use of all that material wihtout any restriction. Those rights can even be transferred to third persons in case of YouTube goes to bankrupt

Source _in spanish: DiarioTI.com, vía Telépolis

Three pages written

2006-06-13T10:20:00.000+02:00

I can't say if it's a lot. It's something least. And you know what? This new discipline of writing daily _ I mean, get up, get breakfast, do a little tidy and sit to work until lunch time. Take a lunch and prepare oneself to go out for work _scholar work, as it's neccessary have some cash until I get paid for the script ;)

And later, get home, take a light supper watching Camera café before taking another round in front to the laptop... Feels like...

... Aaaaaye carumba!

Disclaimer: I haven't transalated yet a few more posts. So, if you drop by today later or tomorrow, take a scroll down to read them, as they are older than this one.

And more bastards around!

2006-06-06T11:09:00.000+02:00

This one was a political post, too.

As most of you already know, Spain is now under a Socialist Government, after last 2004 Elections. The Popular Party, close to USA's Republican Party, still claims that the Elections were manipulated. Two days before the Voting Day, Al Qaeda killed almost 200 people in my hometown, Madrid. And Spaniards _who were already tired of President Aznar and his friends,

... did chose to end that crap.

Now, Popular Party's politics are basically focused on gain last elections instead next.

And, as Sociallist Party has a sociallist in its name, my region's Head Senator, Ms. Esperanza Aguirre _Popular, has claimed to President Zapatero apologises for URSS Stalin political crimes before World War II.

here's the article in Spanish

I am not even considering the moral of making a modern sociallist in Spain with a dictator in Russia _and I don't even want to think about what will this woman say when she notices Sheikh Gadafi's existence.

It's just... Zapatero is Sociallist and Stalin... wasn't he a Communist?

Or am I living in an alternate universe?

If you can understand spanish, there's the declaration in audio file (better with Internet Explorer)

To die of success

2006-06-04T17:26:00.000+02:00

This last weeks quite a few good news have come. You already know the best one, although it's not the only one. I have found a new part-time job, as supporting teacher, which will allow me at least to cover my monthly needs and pay the bills for a year or more _better paid and less duties, on being honest. The supporting school is really near home, besides. So, I have registered for one class more in my Dojo, a martial art associated to Kendo named Jodo.

And, over all, the next 12 months I will be able to dedicate the half of my day just on writing.

I still take time not only for my script, but also to my most-confessed unconfessable addiction... which has become, surprisingly, in a good literary exercise besides a successful Fanfiction. At the time I'm writing this post in English, it has reached near 1300 readers.

And June 3rd I received a mail from The University of Manchester, saying that they have even considered my resume and my application for a PhD Fellowhip, so I was being asked for jured translations of my Academic Qualifications and Diplomas. Just to include me among the applicants.

So. I can't stand on my feet.

I do know I mustn't complain. The fact is, althoug I had received some minor awards before, until now I hadn't got anything. Anything that matters, I mean. And the last three years have been a Hell of losings _professional, personal, artistic, healthic.

After all this time managing to survive with 300 euros per month, having been left to my fate by my friends because of my illness, and looking everyone around moving on and happy, I had made myself to the idea of my life being in that way. And, suddenly, it is not anymore.

People has started to see things inside me that nobody had never seen. I like that. Of course Id o. It's just I am not used to be object of that kind of accompliments. I'm not used to be respected.

And I am so scared to disapoint all that people _a new emotion, too. After all, my nickname keeping the word small has never been a literary trick.

Anyway, thanks a lot for your support, guys :)

And right here, a friend

2006-06-03T11:30:00.000+02:00

And the before I say more Bell jars are needed, the sooner enter the Blogosphere my colleages from Asociación Alonso Quijano.

In World Première, BLOGURA (blocrazyness), a collective blog for people with mental diseases.

Well done!!

On poetic licences _as I'm posting at late night, get this or there'll be no post at all

2006-06-03T01:02:00.000+02:00

I looked to A.-senpai and explained to her that what seems an odd behaviour, even if it's true, is no other thing than another symptom of her/our disease. I told her that her ups and downs with love and engagement where not due to her being a bitch as she was saying. It was just mind's ups and downs, I told her, because it's really true, by the way _most people with bipolar diseases seem promiscuous when their inconscious mind is just looking for the love they feel lost years ago. And I think it has healed her, a little at least.

Sometimes I think about what my coming out through this blog has meaned to me. I think about all what this Internet character _because here in the Web we all are kind of fictional, has made for the real me. And for real others. Lately, even more since the Breaking News, people around me say they admire me. I still don't know if I feel really comfortable with that. I mean, it's a beautiful feeling and I feel grateful, but I am not trully better than anyone with a mental illness: I am simply someone with a light disease who is, in addition, a writer, and who knows how to explain some things.

You know. I don't want to be such a hipocrite. This admiral thing feels so good! It's just I'd like to think that this jar _which is covering with cracks, by the way, is the first of many other jars. I don't want to become The Voice of anyone.

Today evening, C-sensei has congratulated me for the first time because of my kendo practice. "Watch your maai... but it's ok. It's good, Bluething". Sometimes I feel a little trapped between the care of my senpai and the arrgance coming from my youngest pals. Perhaps some of them are seing themselves already as samurai junior and granted to study Kendo in Japan, so that they can wonder why a clumsy like me wastes her time and keeps space from them to practice something so painful for her. But that's like wondering why people is still alive and standing, as life hurts so much, doesn't it?

That's what swordship teaches me. That, at the end, it doesn't matter so much if you're good or bad, if you are able to feel it. And that's also the reason because of this evening, after the class, I rested importance to A-senpai's feelings of guilty about her inconstance. As if inconstance was only typical of mentally sick people, right?

In spite of all, A-senpai and I are both loved. And that does ask for constancy and work, poor fellows, Wyan and Herberwest ;)

It's been a very, very long time since I last allowed myself to be a little bit eccentric. And... To Hell with proper manners! After all I always have to keep attention on myself when I fall down on the street gaspingh, haven't I?

So, after getting out the Subway, I have made chorus togheter with Heather Nova:

I'm coming home to you
I'm alive I'm a mess
I can't wait to get home to you
To get warm and undressed
There've been changes beyond my dreams;
Everybody wants me to sing
There've been changes beyond my grasp;
Things I'm sinking in

(chorus)
So keep me in your bed all day
Nothing heals me like you do

And when somebody knows you well
Well there's no comfort like that
And when somebody needs you
Well there's no drug Iike that

(chorus)

And where l'm home, curled in your arms
And I'm safe again
I'll close my eyes and sleep
To the sound of London Rain

Nothing falls like London Rain
Nothing heals me like you do
Nothing falls like London Rain
Nothing heals me like you do

Mi shinai is waiting at the entrance of my flat. I'll go training tomorrow morning. Now I am at home and it's raining, although this is not London. And nevertheless, there are so many good things around me, that I couldn't give up right now.

This one is political, too

2006-06-03T00:45:00.000+02:00

To be quick, the post quotes some brilliant phrases posted on the main Spanish Police Association Forums on the Internet:

"If someone doesn't wat to get thumped during a street demostration, the solution is easy: don't demonstrate neither go out around"

And these are the people sheduled to protect all of us, even criminals to being... thumped before being... judged.

Aren't they sweet?

_the demonstrations are being helded peacefully by some young people associations, asking to low dwelling prizes (link in spanish).

SCENE. 1. N's home. Int. Day.

2006-06-02T00:53:00.000+02:00

I have just written the first plot of three chained scenes which will become my movie's begininning.

I still feel odd about it. You know, as if I was expected to be a sort of genious or an artist whom I can't feel inside me.

This is getting (more) serious

2006-06-01T10:28:00.000+02:00

This blog is receiving around 50 visitors per day, what is not really important in the Blogosphere, although seems unimaginable to me, noticing how personal is what I write here.

My Buffy fanfiction in spanish has exceeded a thousand readers.

And last friday I knew that Culture Department of my region has chosen my script to be granted _so I'll receive 6.000 Euros to dedicate myself 100% to the writing on next months.

I've become professional!

So... Should I say "D'oh!"... or "Alhamdulillah"?

Say it loud, I'm geek and proud!

2006-05-29T22:35:00.000+02:00

My posts written on may 25th are related to a giant joke recently celebrated in my country, the Geek Pride Day, a feast scheduled this year for the first time to commemorate the 1977 Star Wars première _and besides and over all, tell the world that Loosers are Beautiful ;)

In a while I'll submit a summarized version of the four posts. Please don't take the stuff too seriously, although I think it's been a nice time for people to remember we're all different and that's quite good _and much more serious.

(here's one of the celebration activities, a Live Action Pacman at one of Madrid's Downtown squares).

My bloody inner bug

2006-05-24T18:34:00.000+02:00

I'm through another depressive process.

But hey, I am NOT sad. Don't feel depressed as the common reader could think. I feel the physical symptoms, not the emotional ones. I can feel them inside me early in the morning, in how hard is getting up from bed _don't make funny at this, it's not the normal "hard to get up", nothing to see with it. I also find hard to think, to go work, even be really there when I'm working. I'm being slow, weird, unreal. I quite distressed.

The worst of it is how slow I can write. And not being able to go training to the morning classes in the Dojo, now that I have more time in the school _I must say I prefer to train with Pelayo-sensei, now he has decided to train me with the bogu armor.

Anyway, neverthelesss what my psychiatrist says, I'm going to the clinic this afternoon to get this month's prescriptions for my drugs.

Javier Romañ. says I must be the only mental sick person in all over the world who doesn't mind to me under drugs _in spite of all that people that never gets their medication properly. But it's logical. I like much better to be controlled by my drugs to be without them, watching every single change in my daily moods, ready to be scared at the minimal sign of anxiety or depression.

Now I only need to keep enough courage to restart my psychothuerapy... yikes.

PS: And right this afternoon, if it wasn't enough, I have a job interview to survive the summer. How timely!

Pharyngitis

2006-05-13T23:43:00.000+02:00

Pharyngitis is an inflammation of the pharynx that frequently results in a sore throat. It may be caused by a variety of microorganisms.
Strep throat is a serious cause of pharyngitis. The complications of strep throat can include acute rheumatic fever, kidney dysfunction, and severe diseases such as bacteremia and streptococcal toxic shock syndrome.

Symptoms
* Sore throat
* Strep throat may be accompanied by fever, headache, and swollen lymph nodes in the neck
* Viral pharyngitis may be associated with runny nose and postnasal drip
* Severe cases may be accompanied by difficulty swallowing and, rarely, difficulty breathing
* Additional symptoms are dependent on the underlying microorganisms

Signs and tests
The health care provider will perform an examination of the pharynx to look for drainage or coating. The skin, eyes, and neck lymph nodes may be examined.

If there is suspicion for strep throat a streptococcal screen and/or throat swab culture may be performed. Additional throat cultures or blood tests may be done depending on the suspected organism (e.g., mononucleosis, gonorrheae).

(From the US National Library on Medicine)

Hey, I've broken my own mark on fever!

The word is PAIN.

C for cookie

2006-04-29T15:05:00.000+02:00

Via nachete, from Bookcrossing (Spain's division)

The bell jar, 3rd edition

2006-04-24T21:09:00.000+02:00

Today I have gifted another copy of Sylvia Plath's The bell jar. One of my student's mom, has been diagnosed with a bipolar disease, added to her deafness and her diabetes. And my poor C. cannot see what's wrong with her mom, what kind of hell explodes inside her to make her unable to stand alone, but neither pay attention to her if she stands by her side. And, over all, C. is terrified about the idea of someone disposing her mother to be hospitalized and got away from her. Because C. doesn't just get that in our country almost any mental patient gets hospitalized nowadays, 'cause there are hardly places to heal her mom in our hospitals.

I hope the reading will make C. as well as it did to me.

I know, I know!

2006-04-23T22:44:00.000+02:00

Really. I DO know.

No longer than tomorrow I'll make last posts' translations.

Promised.

While some dudes

2006-04-14T10:58:00.000+02:00

While some dudes keep complaining about how awful is Spanish Cinema (and maybe they´re righ sometimes),

and while some other dudes spend their time making funny other countries´s cinema _like if it was The Solution,

other dudes _the less, keep themselves in making movies in the right way, which are being expected even inthe United States.

Of course, this last option is the most difficult one, and entails thinking a little bit.

Regresso

2006-04-13T13:32:00.000+02:00

Congratulations to José for o pequenho Afonso and the return of his Cura di Sé to the Realms of the Blogosphere!

We missed you.

Becoming Blue-chan and going to Blogosphere... again. In my secret indentity (bis)... Oh, c'mon! You do know what I mean!!

2006-04-11T18:06:00.000+02:00

It´s not I´m leaving posting about my stumbles on the tatami thuesday and thursday nights. Just let´s say that my, you know, serious posts about The Swordship Way are placing in this new weblog:

Kendo Zanshin (provisionary name),
the first spanish-language-based blog on, about and for Kendo, created by me and Ómen Senpai.

Irasshaimase (welcome) y Arigato Gozaimasu (thank you very very much) for coming by.

Watching from the sidelines is not participate, but it´s neither staying

2006-04-09T10:44:00.000+02:00

Preparacion
Originally uploaded by Small Blue Thing.

Yesterday, after several hours of hesitation, I finally got out to support my senpai to the Madrid´s Kendo Annual Championship.

The pictures are not as great as I´d wish _guess I´ll have to ask for Photoshop´s healing hands to make up, at least, the margins. Because my PENTAX camera doesn´t go much far away than this.

Do I go much far away than this?

Partially I do.

There is something, at least there was inside my mind last saturday, something that link all of us in the dojo over the level and technical conditions of each one. Like it was possible to share the same spirit in every moment _trainings, clinics, championships.

As if my mere presence there on the floorboard was a new breath, another movement, another step ahead in the Way.

So that...

2006-04-07T11:03:00.000+02:00

... these tests are really accurate, indeed.

(via Ómen-Sempai)

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Bringing up to date

2006-04-05T12:32:00.000+02:00

After two weeks under kinda crisis, and after another one with lots of work to do _and quite small willing to write here, although my unmentionable secret is up to 128 sheets, summarized in three episodes, almost four, already posted on Internet, I want to actualize these past two weeks of introspection _'cause it doesn´t stope here inside, before publishing the next posts.

Updating, for instance, my last readings,

The Lugano Report is considerably difficult to read depending on the moment. So I have decided to take into the book and read it in one go, because it´s a Bookcrossing Bookring and there´s people waiting their turn after my reading.

Wirginia Woolf's Diaries are different. They belong to that kind of reading you wouldn't stop reading for anything on Earth. Quotations and more quotations from this marvelous book are coming. I had never experienced so nearly, had never united so much with the process of creation of a story, over the everyday living, the mirr's reflection, over holidays, even over insanity _when it comes into the Diaries itself. I do know I am not Virginia Woolf, but that book is helping me to be me. To write by myself _although I spend my strenghts in nonsenses with loaned characters and lucubrations on the Blogosphere.

Anyway, I am a proud member of Bookcrossing Community and I am involved in 2006 Spanish Line of Compulsory Reading, which means I must read specific books every two months to deal with the Challenge. Before the end of April, I had to read Alessandro Baricco's Novecento, (nothing to see with the 1970's movie).

Besides, I have spent 7 irresponsible euroes in a new Ralph Köenig's album kidding about gay men which I have used to take a run-up to start again rading with my usual speed, after these weeks of mental convalescence.

So there are two readings more to put on my list. So this is the first of bringing myself up to date.

Dedicated to my neocon fans :)

2006-03-27T12:31:00.000+02:00

(because a great bunch of neocon and similars are often droping by here, lately)

Related to the late trial in Afghanistan against the converted-to-Christianism citizen Abdul Rahman, charged with "crime of Apostasy" _because of his baptism, the Islamic Assembly of Spain Wants to declare this statement,

* We do express our strongest contestation at this crime against the freedom of conciousness of a person. Violation of that freedom of choosing one´s own religion is also a violation of the Holy Quran Message, Which express in may ayats (versicles)the prohibition of coacting anyone. [i.e. Surat 2, ayat 28]

By the way, Abul´s story had a happy ending.

... You know, as almost anyone has told about the muslims who defended this poor man, as if all of them wanted to hit a stone against him... I thought I should make a sort of balance.

About some feelings behind the cristal jar about ETA´s Truce

2006-03-23T23:01:00.000+01:00

(kinda midi soundtrack)

Hegoak ebaki banizkio
nerea izango zen,
ez zuen aldegingo.
Bainan, honela
ez zen gehiago txoria izango eta nik...
txoria nuen maite.

Just a while before posting this I shared laughs and candy with Sux., a friend basque from The Lords of the Sith, on account to some shit spared on the Web about ETA´s truce _ these neocon buddies are still upset by the news, and they are saying pearls that can make you laugh to cry:

11-M x 2 = 22-M

(what explains withouth the shadow of any doubt that the awful 11M tragedy was an ETA-Socialist complot not to kill people but to make neocons lose the Last Presidentials. They mean it! That´s a communication media, here! They get paid for these crap!)

But don´t forget the last word relays on People. And if People agrees this, well there´s a mayority of spaniards coward, morally degenerate, potbellied [meaning potbellied!] and arseholeftist [yes, "jiliprogres" blends "arshole" and "leftist"]. They don´t want to know the truth about 11M: it annoys them. But the truth will explode into them in the form of breaking news..."

"Today, march 22 2006, hardly 2 years after 11M - terrorist attempt which caused 192 deads and more than 1500 injured, ETA announces its "Permanent Truce". Do we need more evidencies of 11M vindication?"

So some readers of Escolar.net, blog of politics leftist-based, have answered with another two pearls _ which I guess are untranslatable, though I´m doing my best:

So, I, as am wise too in linking events nonsensely, wonder that the fact of my neighbour buys oranges every saturday probably is a solid evidence that he´s the intellectual author of the tragedy.(yago)

Hey guys! I have just found out that my neighbour is getting more and more potbellied, so HE IS the author of 11M!(andaqueno)

And Sux. and I have laughed and laughed! As two magnificent potbellies!

And because Sux has losen the two most important people in his life _and when I say losen I mean really and forever, without chance of a whedonesque return. And me, I stand here, surrounding to my crazyness. So maybe can write, can talk about important things _and this is capital for our country _or our countries if some people like better, give us a chance to become more human.

I guess what we felt that night, what I felt at least, is a sort of shame, like "something historical is having place here and I am feeling sorry for myself. Perhaps it´s the first step to thousands to stop their pain _for that´s what Peace means, ending suffering and no other thing. How can I be still complaining about something without form, nor smell, nor taste, which is not even operable?

It makes a bad impression, doesn´t it?

Thursday morning I was listening a special radio program about the truce which aired the basque song with wich I started my post. It´s a poem singed by the artist Mikel Laboa. I listened it for the first time in the documentary La pelota vasca, a 2004 movie about the basque conflict, which was censored at the school where I work for a bunch of fascist students and their more even fascist parents. It was my first year as a teacher.

It is a lovely song.

If I had cut off his wings
it would have remained mine.
It would never got away.
But that way
it would have stopped being a bird
And I...
I did loved the bird.

Wish two people specifically could read this now. I met them both in summer 2002. He´s an archeologist, she´s a Fine Arts bachelor. The both of them are basque and basque-speakers. The both of them are basque radical independentist.

They took part in the group of archaeologists and volunteers in which I was too. We participated in a workcamp to exhume rests of dissapeared people during Spanish Civil War.

I think we are all in this picture.

Jesus burned his nose and herberwest and I helped them to cure. He used to tell us we were his "spanish shelter family" _as he didn´t consider him spanish but basque. He didn´t felt scare of having a debate about the conlict basque with the other spanish volunteer. And he did defend me from Maider when she tried to humillate me, she insulted me one afternoon in the work set. She hated me. Because I am spanish and I´m born in spanish capital, Madrid.

And we were working for civilians killed just for their beliefs. I hesitate that girl really understood what we were making. But I think he did.

I have often thought about him these days. Wish I could sustain our link and become friends with Jesus. Wish he now would know how much he was a lesson for me. I wonder what would he think about me listening repeatedly this song, in that strange language from which he teached me the bunch of words I know.

My own name is basque. It means "bramble".

Maybe, after all, the end of all this shit is like us, like the song´s bird. Peace is the story of a free bird alighting on a bramble, sharing that only moment in both´s lives.

-----

(había empezado pensando en escribir sobre lo mucho que echo de menos poder entrenar y me ha podido seguir hablando de esto. Hay que joderse).

Hegoak ebaki banizkio
nerea izango zen,
ez zuen aldegingo.
Bainan, honela
ez zen gehiago txoria izango eta nik...
txoria nuen maite.
(If I had cut off his wings
it would have remained mine.
It would never got away.
But that way
it would have stopped being a bird
And I...
I did loved the bird.)

Mikel Laboa, Txoria txori. Letra de J.A. Artze

About yesterday´s posts and what´s coming

2006-03-23T21:18:00.000+01:00

My last posts are about the exciting wonderful moving gasping terrifying lovely etc. news about Basque Terrorism cesation in my country.

They speak basically about what spanish local neocons _though I should call them oldcons, which is actually more proper have to say about it.

They don´t love the idea.

Beacuse it means they are probably loosing next Presidential Elections.

ETA has decided to negotiate a Peace process and neocons have said today in their offical radio station that it´s bad news for them to prepare the Presidentials 2008.

Aren´t they lovely?

Some mixing of opinions for your information in BBC Forums.